Positives and negatives: Fulham 3-1 Newcastle United

It’s a long way to come for a loss. Fortunately, Cam’s a Fulham fan and he lives 20 minutes from the Cottage, so guess how this one’s going to go. Maximum points? Oh, go on then.

Positives

Raul’s swivel and sizzle

So, that’s a couple of goals in a couple of Premier League starts for Raul Jimenez, a doff of the cap in the veteran striker’s direction and as Rodrigo Muniz continues to misfire, we have to demand even more of him.

There was no arse-to-face red cards today. Jimenez wasn’t overly disruptive, he didn’t trouble Fabian Schär or Dan Burn physically and he was gradually marshalled out of proceedings but let’s talk about that scrumptious finish of his, yes? Newcastle may have had a decently crafted goal scrubbed off early doors but Raul’s was a scorcher of a curtain raiser, engineered by his own design and leathered like he bloody well meant it.

Off the chest, swivel and sizzle. Bosh. With his back to goal, Raul’s primal instincts awakened, he didn’t even need to lift his head as he unleashed his unsavable thump, he knew that once boot met ball, the net would bulge and so it did. This is the trigger-happy Jimenez we’ve been sobbing for, but his input and output has to become much more frequent for those looming question marks to disperse.

Is he past it? Does he have it in him to lead a top-flight XI? Can he return to being the player he once was? We all have reasonable reservations and doubts, our striking options aren’t prolific but one of our number nines was bound to stake a claim and as it’s Raul, we have to spur him on for even more as we build Rodrigo back up again. If Jimenez only gets on the end of one key opportunity in each game he features, he has to make it stick and so far, that’s precisely what he’s doing.

Smith Rowe again, ole, ole

Two goals and an assist in five outings for the Whites. That ain’t bad going for a player that’s striving to reinvent themselves after being released from their boyhood club and it’s safe to say that on the banks of the Thames, Emile Smith Rowe has found his new home indefinitely.

He’s taken to his new surroundings superbly, he was bred to compete against the very best in north London, no fear, no surrender, and if his former seniors preached it as a core principle, he’s certainly practising it under Marco Silva’s command. Smith Rowe is a magnificent footballer and he was imperious as he outshone Newcastle’s lesser equivalents.

Nick Pope’s popadom of a left wrist probably should’ve done better with our second of the afternoon but the pleasure was all ours and visibly, ESR’s, too. A slick move consisting of Adama Traore, Alex Iwobi and then Smith Rowe wrenched the Magpies apart and as Iwobi poked Emile into contention, the ball had already been prodded goal bound. In a flash, Smith Rowe had steadied and struck, it wasn’t precise but it was enough to catch Pope off guard and that is what he can do out of nowhere, make something out of nothing.

I suppose in this case it wasn’t necessarily a half chance, it was actually a beautifully constructed sequence but it pays to have an attacking midfielder like ESR because more often than not, he cashes in. He’s got to be knocking on Lee Carsley’s door, if he adds to his tally and continues to shush his naysayers – not that there are any – he’ll be involved in England’s meetings in October and it will be fully merited.

Reiss seals the spoils

A goal in the Carabao Cup, which eventually meant sod all and now, a first Premier League goal for the Fulham. Reiss Nelson couldn’t get a whiff of Bukayo Saka’s jockstrap at the Emirates but we simply cannot get enough of him at Craven Cottage, unless you’re a fullback on the opposing side, that is.

Straight at it, byline locked in his sights, lips licked, Nelson didn’t think twice about getting at his man and he didn’t wait for an invitation, either. No RSVP, no niceties, no cordial “after you, fella”, the Arsenal loanee eyeballed Tino Livramento – who is by no means a lumbering slouch – and he dragged him on a fast tracked tour of the touchline and Newcastle’s right-back had no choice in the matter.

Marking Nelson has to be horrible, like, properly unpleasant. He’s nimble, unpredictable and he ghosted past Newcastle’s defensive line without a trace whenever the ball came to feet. Arsenal’s B team stole the show on Saturday but all of them, Iwobi, Smith Rowe and now Nelson have an X-factor. They can change games, they can win games and in the second minute of extra time, Reiss sealed the spoils.

Capitalising on a horrific square ball which was laid off by Muniz’s backside, Nelson found himself in front of the target and rather than snatching at his strike, he called Pope’s bluff, the England stopper’s bodyweight shifted and with stealth, the surplus Gunner rammed it into the heart of the goalmouth. Punchy and clinical, no half measures. Maximum points ensured, connections strengthened both on and off the field, we’re really going to fall arse over tit for a player that isn’t ours again, aren’t we?

Tete’s toe-to-toe tutorial

Other than being left up shit creek without a paddle as the Magpies struck instantly after the break, Kenny Tete’s outing on the right-hand side of practically perfect in almost every way and no matter who our rejuvenated right-back encountered, he came out on top at every given opportunity.

He’s been magnificent ever since he came back into Silva’s starting selection and with Anthony Gordon, Joe Willock and a prowling Alexander Isak to subdue, Tete made light of his afternoon’s work and that is something to savour for sure. Gordon was shadowed out, Willock was mugged in broad daylight and Isak’s spins off the shoulder were consummately dealt with.

He swept up the mess, he shielded possession without folding under pressure and he advanced with a motive that offset Newcastle as they attempted to hem us in at the back. Tete went toe-to-toe with highly capable attackers, FPL points and international caps aplenty but did he give a solitary shit about them? Absolutely not, and that is exactly what I want from my first-choice right-back, an attitude that doesn’t bow and curtsy to those that ain’t really worth the mulch on his soleplate.

Negatives

Nothing major, really

I’m not going to sit here and chew out our sluggish start to the second half or bash Andreas Pereira (I think we’re all tired of that), I’m going to enjoy our first win over the Toon in seven years and I ain’t going to let anything taint what was a pretty impressive all-round performance.

It’s the best I’ve seen us play in some time. Joachim Andersen was Bisto, Traore was on smoke, we’re always likely to cause ourselves peril in one way or another but actually, we were quality across the board with a capital W and our expectant visitors didn’t even see it coming. Three points, they reckoned. Well, the shoe’s on the other foot now isn’t it, fuckers? 3-1 on their big day out? Hold that.